LiaHowley.com

I am one month old today. A whole month. Seemed like I’d never get here. I hear that when I get older time will go quicker, but right now when I cry and mom says she’ll change me in just a minute, I can’t understand how she can think a whole minute isn’t a long time. I guess that’s what happens when you get old. She must be at least… a hundred months old I think.

There are a hundred people staying here at my house, all with weird names like Omi and Daddy. I heard that a bunch of them are going home next week but I don’t know who. I hope that one called Mommy stays here. I kind of like her.

We had another poop party last night. My mom thought my dad was gonna put me to bed, but when he changed me, I gave him the invitation. Three times he cleaned me, and three times I made it so he had to clean me again. The fourth time, I finally got some good range. At least two feet I think. I got the table, my onesie, his shirt, the carpet, and maybe the cat. After that they gave me a bath, which was nice. Maybe we should have poop parties more often.

In other news, I’m up to 7 pounds, 6 ounces. I’ve got a feeling this weight gain thing is gonna be a real problem.

I am so fat. Only 16 days old, and I’m already getting fat. I was trying to diet, but yesterday the doctor said I wasn’t gaining enough weight, so they made mommy and me stay overnight at the hospital. They made me eat out of this weird plastic bottle thingy, and I gained a lot of weight while I was there.

Daddy took this cool picture of me on his phone last night while we were all there.

So now we’re back at my house, and mom and dad seem kind of relieved. But if I keep gaining weight like this, I don’t know what I’ll do.

I’ve found a new hobby. Besides sleep, I mean.

For a while, it was fun messing up my diaper three minutes after I got changed, but you know what’s even more fun? Messing up the new one while I’m being changed.

I’ve also been taking shots at my dad while he’s changing me. I know I don’t quite have the range a boy would, but I can launch a poo at least a good foot and a half. I got dad’s shirt yesterday with that one. Now I’ve just got to improve my aim.

Today, after I wet a new diaper that hadn’t even been strapped onto me yet, dad was rinsing me off in the sink and I felt a sneeze coming. It was a surprise to everyone when I sneezed and launched a poo. Thankfully, it went into the sink. Everyone laughed a lot at that one. I’ll have to remember to do that again sometime. Next time, maybe I can get dad instead of the sink. That should be twice as funny.

My umbilical cord fell off last night. The stump of it, I mean. Kind of gross, I know.

I was sleeping a bit more at first, but I think I’m now doing a wonderful job of keeping my mom and dad from getting any real meaningful sleep. Since mom’s not back at work yet, she’s been trying to handle everything on her own overnight and let my dad sleep so that he won’t fall asleep on his hour long drive to work, but I can tell he’s tired anyway.

My grandparents are staying with us now, and my toys are finally getting set up: the changing table, the wipe warmer, and would you believe that my mom keeps trying to get me to sleep in the cosleeper a whole 2 feet away from where she sleeps? She can be so mean sometimes.

I’m also doing pretty well at waiting until just after my diaper gets changed to mess it up again, but my dad’s getting good at avoiding those close calls.

Hello. My name is Lia Allegra Howley, and I’m one week old today. My dad set me up this site so I could tell all the peoples what I’ve been up to. Stay tuned for more things. My dad tells me there’s this thing called a RSS feed that you can subscribe to so you can know when I post something new. Here’s the RSS feed, and here’s a thing my dad wrote telling what a RSS feed is and how to use it.